Anyone who has been in an age-gap relationship will know that it’s not an easy path to tread. According to statistics, 8.5% of women and 8% of men have a spouse with a decade’s difference in age.

In films and TV, we’re often given a romanticised version of these relationships. Sure, the sex might be magnetic and the conversation can be stimulating, but there are misunderstandings and arguments that start over the most meaningless things, like in any relationship. Age gaps are just like any other romantic connection, but people can struggle to see that. 

No matter whether it’s a fleeting hook-up, full-on love affair or an undefined situationship, those outside of an age-gap connection can come loaded with their own opinions. It only takes scrolling through TikTok to see complete strangers weighing in on what is presumably an incredibly nuanced relationship, but reducing it to seeing age alone. Things get even more heated when people see their favourite celebrities in relationships with people younger or older than them, with the internet weighing in on why the latest papped couple are “gross” to be together (just take the online discourse around Chris Evans and Alba Baptista’s 16-year age gap).

Typically, film and TV hasn’t really helped matters. Looking back over the past few decades, exploring age gaps on screen has usually been problematic – whether that’s because a film has come with a lot of real-life baggage, such as the Mary Kay Letourneau case inspiring Julianne Moore and Natalie Portman’s May December, or there being obvious power imbalances, like in The Graduate. It’s safe to say we’ve been starved of a fresh, modern perspective, until now.

Anne Hathaway is making her return to the light-hearted romcom scene this May with The Idea Of You; playing 40-year-old Solène who falls for 24-year-old megastar Hayes Campbell (Nicholas Galitzine). Based on the novel of the same name by Robinne Lee, Solène and Hayes engage in a life-changing romance after meeting by chance at Coachella, coming face-to-face with the realities of doing something unconventional in love. On paper, there are plenty of reasons why the story should fall into the obvious traps but instead, the film shrewdly sidesteps them.

One of the first things viewers learn about Solène is that she’s a woman who’s got her head screwed on. Now a single mother to a teenage girl after her ex-husband cheated on her, she’s incredibly wary about what she gets herself involved in, making sure to second-guess decisions at every turn. She has no desire to engage with things that don’t serve a purpose in her life, nor is she actively looking for anything to change that. When she meets Hayes for the first time, there’s almost no indication that anything more will happen – and this is key.

Meanwhile, Hayes is a man used to being pandered to, thanks to his time in globally successful boyband August Moon. After meeting at Coachella, he tracks Solène down to the art gallery she owns just outside of Los Angeles; Hayes’ immaturity almost shows when he tries to buy artwork just to get Solène’s attention. Instead of getting carried away with himself, Hayes becomes restrained, accessing an organic and enriching connection with Solène by listening and staying grounded.

With Solène and Hayes combined, The Idea Of You’s biggest strength is its self-awareness. Instead of getting caught up in a tawdry love affair where passion is the only thing anybody cares about, the pair’s actions are careful, considered, and met with opposition at every turn. As Solène accompanies August Moon on their European tour one summer, the press, their friends, and their families are all on hand to point out why their coupling won’t last. Solène is also resistant to the connection blossoming between the two of them, pulling away multiple times when things begin to affect her family life.

Having characters who are aware of age-gap consequences is a refreshing approach to a film storyline, giving The Idea of You the power to change how we talk about these relationships in real life. In an ideal world, age gaps should be considered on a case-by-case basis. Just because Solène and Hayes form a healthy connection with good communication doesn’t mean the same dynamic will be right for another  couple with a similar age difference. It goes without saying that a power imbalance in a relationship is never right, but we’re not talking about what’s obviously immoral. Instead, we’re considering love that springs from the unlikeliest of places.

Age gaps aren’t always going to be easy, but the same can be said for all relationships. What we can do is make life that little bit easier for those around us by taking a step back to consider the nuance. Adult topics need a grown-up approach, and that’s exactly what The Idea of You is asking from its audience. Solène and Hayes’s relationship doesn’t have a linear path, nor does it have a clearly defined solution. However, what it does have is honesty, respect, and frankness surrounding likely problems, alongside keeping an open mind. Romcoms should continue to be the fun, uplifting watches we need them to be, but ones with age gaps don’t need the rose-tinted glasses. If a light-hearted, entertaining film can take these conversations seriously, then so can we.  

Images: courtesy of Amazon Prime