Credit: Courtesy of publishers
Stylist Loves
6 fascinating books that explore polyamory and open marriages
By Amy Beecham
2 months ago
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3 min read
From Molly Roden Winter’s candid memoir on open marriage to Ruby Rare’s no-holds-barred ‘non-monogamy playbook’, these non-fiction titles explore a fascinating alternative to traditional relationships.
A few years ago, a ‘throuple’ was something most of us had only heard about via American reality TV. Terms like ‘open marriages’, ‘polyamory’ and ‘ethical non-monogamy’ haven’t always been the buzzwords they are now, but the interest around non-traditional relationships has steadily grown in the last few years. According to a 2023 study, a third of heterosexual men and 11% of women in the UK are open to having more than one spouse or long-term partner.
But despite the increased curiosity, most of us will still have questions about how these partnerships really work. Who decides where, how and who? What are the boundaries and limits? And once you’ve opened up a partnership, can you ever close it again?
So if you’re curious about the subject on a personal level or simply want to expand your horizons with a fascinating non-fiction read, here are six books about polyamory and open relationships that you should pick up now.
Ask Me How It Works: Love In An Open Marriage by Deepa Paul
A memoir that offers a candid and insightful perspective on love in all its forms, in Ask Me How It Works author Deepa Paul reflects on finding the courage to ask for the marriage she wanted beyond the marriage she had and how it’s shifted her perception on everything from emotional boundaries to jealousy. (out 1 May)
Shop Ask Me How It Works: Love in an Open Marriage by Deepa Paul (Penguin) at Bookshop, £18.99
More: A Memoir Of Open Marriage by Molly Roden Winter
More recounts the experiences of author Molly Roden Winter and her husband Stewart as they enter into an open marriage and grapple with insecurity and doubts, all the while wondering if they can love others and stay true to their love for each other? Can they make the impossible work?
Shop More: A Memoir Of Open Marriage by Molly Roden Winter (Ebury) at Bookshop, £10.99
Me, You, Them by Evie Sage
The Non-Monogamy Playbook: Exploring Polyamory And Open Relationships With Confidence by Ruby Rare
From sex educator Ruby Rare, this is a practical, joyful guide to the rules of non-traditional relationships that uncovers the long history of non-monogamy, and explores why society today still favours monogamous, heteronormative relationships as the gold standard.
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma And Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern
Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern’s practical guide aims to provide non-monogamous people with a new set of tools to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships, and offers radical new concepts that are sure to influence the conversation about attachment theory.
Open: Love, Sex And Life In An Open Marriage by Jenny Block
A book about open marriage that grapples with the problems surrounding monogamy and fidelity in an honest, heartfelt, and non-fringe manner, Open challenges our notions of what traditional marriage looks like, and presents one woman’s journey down an uncertain path that ultimately proves open marriage is a viable option for her and others.
Shop Open: Love, Sex And Life In An Open Marriage by Jenny Block (Seal Press) at Amazon, £18.99
Images: courtesy of publishers
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