In vain I have struggled and it will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love Robert Pattinson’s new haircut.

The actor might not be the star of Netflix’s new gritty period drama The King. The titular king – Henry V, if you must know – is played by Timothée Chalamet with a raspy English accent and an ill-advised bowl cut. Pattinson is merely the Dauphin of France, a pretty prince in a shiny suit of armour. But, courtesy of the actor’s hair transformation in the film, Pattinson emerges as a much more interesting character overall. In fact, he emerges as the king of The King. 

Chalamet’s bowl cut, no matter how pleasingly styled, could not match up to Pattinson’s very on-trend choppy blonde bob. Look at those tousled, cropped locks! Pattinson’s new ‘do is the kind of hair seen on cool women the world over, from stars like Leighton Meester and Lily James to influencers including Rouje founder Jeanne Damas. 

No wonder, then, that fans are sharing their plans to march straight into the next hair salon, book an appointment, and demand that they receive the ‘Robert Pattinson’. In fact, excuse me while I do just that right now. 

Pattinson’s choppy bob is serving some serious chaotic good energy. It is the haircut of busy people the world over who need a style that is going to work as hard as they will. (Shout out to my fellow Capricorns.)

So what if the Dauphin of France, despite his nice armour and fabulous hair and vastly superior skills on the battlefield, doesn’t get a happy ending in his interactions with Henry V? (Spoiler alert, I suppose, for… history? And Shakespeare?) With that hair it doesn’t matter what Chalamet does onscreen in this Netflix movie. Pattinson is the real winner. 

Pattinson’s long bob is so good the real question is why he didn’t get it sooner?

Famously, Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke wanted Pattinson to have long hair in the vampire romance flick because she envisioned her star having the “long, timeless hair” that teenage girls dream of running their fingers through. The hair and makeup team on the film wove extensions into Pattinson’s locks but he hated them. (One imagines him stamping his foot.) Hardwicke’s innovative vision was scrapped in favour of Pattinson’s choice: gelling his full head of hair into textured, crunchy oblivion. It was 2008, after all. 

Around the same time director Todd Phillips was working on his movie The Hangover and he had a similar revelation. Only in this instance it was successful. (Nevertheless, he persisted.) The filmmaker took one look at his The Hangover star Bradley Cooper and told him: “We’re going to turn you into a leading man, but first we have to grow your hair.” 

They were in the early stages of filming The Hangover and Phillips knew that without long hair Cooper’s star power was greatly diminished. “Something about the long hair, it registers more pain,” Phillips explained. (He also credited Cooper’s “extraordinary acting ability”.)

Like the biblical Samson, Cooper and Pattinson’s long hair is powerful. It “registers more pain”. It’s full of charisma and strength and secrets. And it’s also this season’s hottest hair style – so make your way to a hairdresser now and ask for the ‘Robert Pattinson’. 

Images: Getty